Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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