The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Do you still have your period?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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