Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
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