Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
