I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
