She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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