Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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