I bet he comes in French.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
