I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
