Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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