Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
