Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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