Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize