The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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