Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
