Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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