I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
