I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
