Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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