I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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