I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
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