Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I am available for nakedness
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize