You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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