I molested 6 butterflies tonight
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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