maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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