grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
