Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
