You're my little dorito
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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