I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
