just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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