I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
bring money and cleavage
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
