It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
