wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
