My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
