note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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