If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
