only if we run a train.
done.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
