Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
