Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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