i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
