i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize