Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize