Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
