he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
