chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
