Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
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