I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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