dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
