Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
