At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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