I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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