I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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