Are we in a gay sports bar?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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