Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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