There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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