Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
