Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
