It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I accidentally burped into my bong.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Randomize
