so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
