I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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