My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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