Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
