I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize