Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
