I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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