i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
3 2 1 whiskey
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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