quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
