i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
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