No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
