thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
